By Joanne Rosa
Not everyone feels completely comfortable with their body. Whether you’ve lost or gained a lot of weight recently, finally grew into your nose, or are just getting over an illness, sometimes it’s hard to feel as good as you look.
Eating issues and anxiety expert Donna Fish understands how hard it is for people to forget about their “old-self,” and has offered Wendy Watchers some words of wisdom. You’re not alone in this feeling, people! Remember these key points when you are struggling to accept and embrace the new you.
Your Perspective v. Everyone Else’s
It’s no wonder that you cannot forget what you used to look like. “It can take years for people’s image of themselves to change and correspond to the body changes that they may go through, even as they see that they are different sizes in clothing, or look in the mirror and see a part of themselves changed.” In fact, Donna tells us that our “inner body image” can be set when we are kids. So if you were the youngin’ that ate too many chocolate pudding cups, or the kid with ears that could take flight, it’s no surprise that you still see that image of yourself in the mirror. “Understand that you can’t expect to necessarily see yourself as other see you, nor do you need to.”
Focus on How You Feel PHYSICALLY
Although it may be difficult, we should look away from the mirror and instead focus on how we feel. “Try to focus on the benefits of how much better you’re feeling physically, some satisfactions you may derive from how your body may have changed physically and your increased energy levels, ability to move easily, etc.” So you may wake up, look in the mirror, and feel down because you don’t look like Beyonce, but be glad that you’re waking up FEELING good!
Are You Being Emotionally Reasonable?
We all have days when we feel all the feels. Emotional reasoning says since you feel fat, you must be fat, or you feel like your skin isn’t glowing, so it must not be glowing. OK, this is not the case. “Feelings aren’t facts… Ask if you would ever talk to a friend that way and see if you could talk to yourself as you would a good friend. This is a way to build confidence with a change that you are even happy and worked hard for.” We are often hardest on ourselves. Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend!
The Take Away
“Confidence building with changes in the body takes time and it is not just external. Our thought patterns don’t change automatically as the pounds drop off. We have to be aware, mindful, and then work at creating new mental patterns that we may not believe quite yet!”