Hot Mess Kitchen

We’ve never felt more connected to a cookbook than we do with Gabi Moskowitz and Miranda Berman’s “Hot Mess Kitchen.”

There’s a recipe for every real life situation you may find yourself in, and Mindy Kaling talks us through the recipe, and the situation.

Here are some of our faves to get you through the weekend!

"Better Than Your $10 Green Smoothie"-Frankie Frankeny

“Better Than Your $10 Green Smoothie”-Frankie Frankeny

Better than your $10 Green Juice Green Juice
Serves 1

I N G R E D I E N T S
1 cup chopped mango (frozen is fine)
1 cup packed dinosaur kale leaves (the long, dark green kind, not the curly kind)
1 cup packed spinach leaves
1 apple, cored and chopped
½ cup coconut water (or use regular water)
Some other favorite fruit/veg combinations:
1 cup chopped pear, 2 cups spinach, juice of 1 lemon, ½ cup coconut water (or regular water)
1 cup chopped pineapple (frozen is fine), 1 cup kale, 1 cup spinach, juice of 1 lemon, ½ cup coconut water (or regular water)
1 cup chopped apple; 2 cups spinach; juice of 1 lemon; 2 stalks celery, chopped; ½ cup coconut water (or regular water)

D I R E C T I O N S
If you have a Vitamix or other professional-grade blender, you can simply blend this until it’s smooth (about 1 minute on the highest setting) and drink it as a smoothie.

Alternately, puree as much as possible in a regular blender or food processor, and then strain, using a fine-mesh strainer, right into a drinking glass or jar.

Drink immediately.

"Dirty Girl Martini"-Frankie Frankeny

“Dirty Girl Martini”-Frankie Frankeny

Dirty Girl Martini
Serves 1

I N G R E D I E N T S
Twist of lemon peel
2½ ounces vodka or gin
½ ounce brine from cocktail olive jar
1⁄8 ounce extra-dry vermouth
1 cup ice cubes
2 cocktail olives, for garnish

D I R E C T I O N S
Use a lighter or match to light the tip of the lemon peel twist on fire. Blow out immediately (it shouldn’t burn very much). Set aside.

Shake the vodka or gin, brine, and vermouth with the ice in a cocktail shaker.

Strain into a chilled martini glass or cocktail glass.

Garnish with the olives and burnt twist and serve.

"Basically Carbless (Not That We Care) Cauliflower Crust Pizza"-Frankie Frankeny

“Basically Carbless (Not That We Care) Cauliflower Crust Pizza”-Frankie Frankeny

Basically Carbless (Not That We Care) Cauliflower Crust Pizza
Serves 2

I N G R E D I E N T S
1⁄2 large cauliflower, cut into florets
2 eggs, lightly beaten
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, divided
1⁄2 cup grated Parmesan, plus more for topping the pizza
Pinch of salt
1⁄4 cup sauce of your choice (tomato, pesto, romesco, etc.)
1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
1–2 toppings of choice (we love sliced bell pepper, pepperoni, mushrooms, olives, and caramelized onions)
Fresh herbs—we like sliced basil and chopped parsley (optional)
Red chili flakes (optional)

D I R E C T I O N S
Preheat the oven to 400°F. 


Place the cauliflower florets in a food processor and puree until the mixture resembles ricotta cheese and each grain is about the size of a piece of couscous. 
TIP: If you can’t seem to get the right consistency, or if a few whole florets remain after pureeing, try adding enough water
to cover (usually about 2 cups) and puree as if you are making soup. When all the cauliflower has been completely processed, strain it in a ne-mesh strainer. 


Scrape the cauliflower into a microwave-safe bowl and microwave it on high for 5 minutes. 


Carefully scrape the microwaved cauliflower puree onto a clean dish towel. 


Very carefully (using a second towel if necessary to protect your hands) squeeze out as much liquid as possible. Get it as dry as you can. 


In a mixing bowl, combine the cauliflower, the eggs, 1 tablespoon of the olive oil, the Parmesan, and the salt. Mix together to make a thick batter. 


Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. 


Scrape the batter into the center of the parchment. Gather the batter into a ball shape.

Wet your hands and carefully pat the batter into a circle, making it as thin as possible. 


Drizzle the cauliflower circle with the remaining 1 tablespoon of olive oil and use your hand or a pastry brush to spread it all over the circle. 


Bake for 30 minutes, or until the crust is nicely browned and a little crisp. 


Remove the crust from the oven, but leave the oven on. 


Place a piece of parchment paper over the top of the cooked crust. 


Carefully flip the whole thing so the bottom is facing up. 


Remove the top layer of parchment (what was previously the bottom layer). 


Top your pizza with sauce, cheese, and anything else you like. (I encourage you to go light on the toppings—the crust is sturdy but not as sturdy as conventional pizza crust.)

Bake for 20 to 22 minutes more, until the cheese is browned and bubbly. 


Slice and serve, topping with fresh herbs and red chili flakes if desired. 


"I Created a Relationship In My Mind Cupcakes"-Frankie Frankeny

“I Created a Relationship In My Mind Cupcakes”-Frankie Frankeny

I CREATED A RELATIONSHIP IN MY MIND CUPCAKES
Makes 2 dozen cupcakes

I N G R E D I E N T S
2 cups granulated sugar
4 eggs
2½ cups all-purpose flour
1 cup milk (any fat percentage will work, or use nondairy milk)
¾ cup vegetable oil
2¼ teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
¼ cup raspberry preserves
Easy Chocolate Frosting, Cream Cheese Frosting, or prepared icing of your choice
Fresh raspberries, for garnish

D I R E C T I O N S
Preheat the oven to 350°F.

Line two 12-cup cupcake pans with paper liners (or grease the cups with butter or cooking spray).

In a large mixing bowl, beat the sugar and eggs together with an electric mixer until slightly thickened, about 1 minute. Alternately, use a whisk and beat for 2 to 3 minutes.

Add the flour, milk, oil, baking powder, and vanilla extract and beat for another minute, just until the batter is smooth and creamy. Fill the prepared cups 2⁄3 of the way.

Place a teaspoon of raspberry preserves into each cupcake and swirl it with a spoon.

Bake for 30 to 45 minutes, or until the tops are golden and a toothpick poked into the center comes out clean.

Let the cupcakes cool completely in the pan, then frost as desired. Top each one with a fresh raspberry.

Go outside. Talk to a real human.

Excerpted from “HOT MESS KITCHEN Recipes for Your Delicious Disastrous Life” by Gabi Moskowitz and Miranda Berman. Copyright © 2017 by Gabi Moskowitz and Miranda Berman. Reprinted with permission from Grand Central Publishing. All rights reserved.

Source: Wendy